.jpg)
Elohim Podcast
Welcome to Elohim Podcast, a podcast about real life issues from a biblical perspective. We want to show love without compromising the truth. The bible teaches us how to live a righteous life style, yet understanding that we are imperfect. Join us on this journey as we give different perspectives a voice.
Elohim Podcast
From Heartbreak to Healing ft. Dominic Sesma
When my friend Dom and I sit down to talk, the air crackles with the energy of two lives woven together by triumph and trial alike. Our latest conversation for Elohim Podcast isn't just a catch-up between friends; it's an intimate exploration of the fragility and strength found in family, faith, and the relentless pursuit of personal growth. We're inviting you into this sacred space where we unmask our vulnerabilities, discussing everything from my mother's courageous cancer battle to the life-altering injuries that threatened to break our spirits but ultimately forged us anew.
Expect a raw and transformative ride as we venture through the valleys of grief and ascend the peaks of redemption. Dom recounts his profound experience under the mentorship of the late James Johnson, shedding light on mentorship's transformative power and the indomitable human spirit when guided by faith. Meanwhile, dealing with the darkest corners of his journey—battling temptation, addiction, and the struggle to find self-worth beyond the basketball court. Together, we draw back the curtain on the often unseen struggles that shape us, sharing how the act of forgiveness can be a gateway to freedom and how our declarations in the dark have brought us closer to Jesus.
We wrap up this deeply personal episode with reflections on the essence of timing and preparation, the joyous revelations of parenthood, and the sacred dance of love and faith intertwining. Our stories are more than just personal anecdotes; they're monuments to the power of transformation, the importance of being the right person before seeking life's blessings, and the unshakeable belief in God's perfect timing. Join us on this journey and discover how our encounters with divine love have paved the way for new beginnings, and perhaps, you'll find an echo of your own story in ours.
#Healing #family #love #Heartbreak #addiction #basketball #faith #Jesus #christian #Podcast #Power #timing #cancer #Passingaway
Welcome to Elohim Podcasts, a podcast about real life issues from a biblical perspective. On this podcast, we don't just want to be entertained, we want to be changed. Listen to the end to hear what God has for your life. Elohim Podcasts. Welcome to Elohim Podcasts, a podcast about real life issues from a biblical perspective. It's been an honor and a pleasure to be able to be in this place. We're here in Prensa, Arizona. This is their studio and they've allowed us to be here with my brother, Dom.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me on here. It's humbling, it really is. Thank you for what you do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, man. And for those that don't know, we did not plan this. Producer, can you put the white shirt on? Oh man.
Speaker 2:You can tell which ones are fake, which ones are real.
Speaker 1:I didn't tell them to wear these shoes, but we're in the spirit.
Speaker 2:We're in the same spirit. Let's do it.
Speaker 1:Well, those that don't know, Dom is a Hooper. He plays basketball way better than me. I am past my prime. I have a dad bod.
Speaker 2:I'm slim thick, it's because he has like five kids.
Speaker 1:That's it. I'm slim, thick. I'm not in shape like you are, you know, and, bro, like when you're on the basketball court I'm like man, he's playing aggressive, he's playing with athletic. I'll be praying for you, bro, that you don't forget that you're Christian bro.
Speaker 2:Man, it's hard. It's hard, man. It's funny because that's exactly what a lot of like my friends say to like man, like chill out man.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Like it's super competitive. I remember because our church sometimes we would rent a window of sports complex and your brother got to play on the same team that you were playing on.
Speaker 2:We were playing playing pick up ball, you freaking suck, that's my brother, man, that's my brother, he knows what's up and it's it's. I'm very competitive, I'm very, very competitive, and but that's part of my testimony though. Honestly, when it comes to basketball, basketball was never my life, it was just a train.
Speaker 1:It took me to a lot of places and but yeah, it was awesome.
Speaker 2:But I'll just talk about you real quick, though, man, for, like you said, it's been a year, yeah, a year, since a little bit over the year. I know it was December of 2022. Yeah, it was your last episode, and I know season one there was 24 episodes, so let's catch us up with you, man. What's been going on from last episode to season one of, or season two of, episode one? You know what? What's going on in your life, man?
Speaker 1:I know you said you mentioned that season one. You watched it, but you were on my radar. I was going to ask you to be a guest a long time ago, first guy. So in December 22, I, I end season one.
Speaker 1:That whole year was crazy because I don't know how I had time to do a low-heam podcast, because I was dealing with my mom's cancer. She was, she had chemo in Mexico, so every month I was taking her down to Hermosillo, sonora. That's where she had her chemotherapy and God just you know he provided financially. I was still busy when they came to ministry. That whole year I got to spend a lot of time with my mom, my mom in 2016, she heads over to Mexico. My parents had gotten a divorce. She goes to Mexico and you know she lives there and I was only like what, 20, 21? And it was a tough season because I was still young, I was still developing. So, having my mom go to Mexico, that meant that I wasn't going to see her as much, I wasn't going to spend time with her as I used to, I wasn't going to get home to a hot meal, and it was very difficult to to adjust. But God was with me the whole process. So when she goes to Mexico, you know I work, I go to college, I'm doing all these things. I started preaching. I started I had a worship team. It was called Gracie Knight it is so the name is so funny but we were playing at so many youth events and it was a blessing. Like I was so busy but I wasn't spending a lot of time Like I wish I could with my mom.
Speaker 1:And when cancer comes and she gives us the news, I remember it was very impactful. I didn't know how to react. I remember I was in my office and when the news happened, my mom was worried about how was she going to pay for her Kemos and all these other things. And I remember when she hanged up, I was thankful that I had money set aside and all this stuff. But I remember getting on my knees and telling God and specifically the devil, because you know what people don't know is that the devil is not omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient. He's not all powerful, all knowing, and he's not in all places. His demons might be sent to you and they watch you and they see you and they know what's your weakness and they know how to tempt you, but they don't. The devil doesn't follow you everywhere you go. So I was on my knees and I said, devil, if you're listening to me right now, I want to tell you that no matter what happens in my life, no matter the outcome of this situation, I will not stop worshiping and serving God. And that was a strong declaration, because I didn't know everything I was going to go through.
Speaker 1:I knew cancer was hard, I knew cancer was difficult, but it wasn't until we actually made the trips to Mexico. It wasn't until actually sitting down for hours at the clinics at the facility. It wasn't until seeing my mom in pain. Man is so hard when you see your loved ones crying, when you see them in agony. And I remember when my brother shaved her head because the hair starts falling out when you're doing chemotherapy. He shaved her head and then I get to Mexico a couple of days later and I was in a good spirit. I was trying to be positive and just be that person that motivates my mom and would spoil her by her whatever she wanted.
Speaker 1:But the moment I saw her bro without hair like bald you know what I'm saying I just couldn't hold it. I just started to cry. Did it scare you. It scared me because I'm like this is real, right. You know you've seen cancer patients. You know they don't have hair and they have something on their head to cover them. And when you have cancer but you still have your hair and stuff like that, you know it's there but it's not real yet. The power behind that. So when I saw my mom without her hair, it just hit me hard. You know, I started to tear up, I started to cry. But the thing about this whole thing is that I didn't think that death was going to be the result. Wow, I never thought I thought that my mom was really going to get through this. I really had the biggest faith in Jesus, and I still do, but I never for a second really thought that my mom was going to pass away. So in 20, 22 of December, I decided to take a break.
Speaker 1:Season one was coming to an end. My plan was for 30 days to go on and for me to enjoy and take a break, and my mom was supposed to ring the bell in January, finishing her last chemo. So we were celebrating. You know, in Mexico you got to celebrate with tacos and horchata, and so we celebrate in January and we are at a very nice restaurant and we're having a good time and I remember the doctor for the following visit tells my mom oh, you're going to start your radiation, you're going to have to stay here for 30 days.
Speaker 1:And I remember so vividly when I was leaving my aunt's house in Hermosillo, I felt some type of way man, it's just like the Holy Spirit. And I remember my mom was at the gate and I tell her I was like mom, I'll see you in 30 days, you know, and. But I just felt like it's like a scene in a movie and you're just saying bye and she was happy and we were celebrating. But I drive back the whole way back to Nogales because usually she would come with me. Yeah, I would look forward to those days because in the mornings when we go to our chemo, we wake up early. We already had a spot where we get our coffee or burritos. Some guy would sell burritos at an oxo and people don't know what an oxo is. It's like a Mexican circle, k yeah, and you know we had this routine. So on the way back, we also had a routine and just leaving her behind, I just felt some type of way and little did. I know that that was the last time I was going to really see her on her feet Because when I went back we started the 21 days of prayer and fasting and I and I thank God for that season because that really prepared me spiritually and, in a way, mentally of what was going to happen.
Speaker 1:And around February her health declines hardcore. They started calling me telling me that she's not doing well. She loses the ability to walk, she starts hallucinating, she's in a great amount of pain and I was like maybe this is just the result and the side effects of chemotherapy or of radiation, sorry. So I go back and I'm just like she's not right and she starts forgetting who I am. She couldn't recognize me at night. How was that?
Speaker 2:How was that? Like, I can't, I haven't experienced that Like and this is your mom, this is one that you really really love.
Speaker 1:Bro, I understand when people that have family members that have dementia like how painful that is, because in the last weeks of my mom's life she was confusing me for some doctor and like she would look at me straight in my face and, straight up, wasn't there, she would. I would be sleeping next to her and she's like, can you see that? Can you see that? And she would start yelling and calling my name Like I'm right here, next to you, mom. So eventually we got a test done. They did an image of her brain, a CT scan and an MRI and all these other tests and the doctor puts it on the screen and there was a big tumor on her brain and my mom had gotten diagnosed with breast cancer. But what happened is that the breast cancer ended up spreading to her brain. And I remember just in shock, I couldn't believe it. Like when it's in the brain, you're just like it's different having a tumor in your breast than having it in your brain. And I remember we go home and and I'm not my home but in my aunt's house and I'm in the room and I started crying, bro, I just I couldn't believe it. This is it. And my mom goes in there and I, she wasn't all there anymore. She, she was there, but not there. You know what I'm saying. And she's like son, why are you crying? And I'm like and I just couldn't talk. And she said you did everything you could, you were a good son, oh man. And in a moment, like I just knew that this was it. And I'm saying she said you did everything you could, you helped me, you took care of me. And it was just so hard because I just started to cry and I knew these were the last moments together, because the way that she was in pain, the way that she was acting, the way everything had happened, and so that month that I planned to take a break of turn into a whole year, wow, it's been a process.
Speaker 1:I can honestly say God has worked in my character and my ego. When I prayed to God to start this podcast again, I said God, let it not be about me. I'm not seeking fame, I'm not seeking a name for myself. Even this, even this podcast, I'm like I don't want to share a wound without a healing. Come on, I know my scar is coming soon. When I mean by that is sometimes people share a wound, they share a story from a wound and not a scar, and I don't just want to share a wound without the healing and when I meant my scar is coming.
Speaker 1:I know this is a process. I've spoken with my pastor, john, and he lost his father as well during COVID and all this stuff, and I know it's a process. But you know what, and this whole journey that I've embarked on and that I walked through, god has been with me the whole time. Yes, he has. I'll lie to you if I told you that I've been 100% this whole journey. I've lied to you if I never did something I regret doing because I was trying to cope with my emotions. I went through it all. I went through anger At first, I went through denial, I went through anger. I had to or officiate my mom's funeral. I didn't know that I officiated my mom's funeral. Bro, having to pick out the casket and where you're going to bury your mother is one of the hardest things, or probably the hardest thing I've done in my life.
Speaker 2:I can't imagine that. I love my mom, I can't so for you to go through that and for those of you that don't know, ezekiel, what you went through, just with your mom at it, it's such a testimony seeing your son Worship, you see, because, like the devil can take what he wants, he can yeah, he can Try to manipulate you and he could take over a lot of things in your mind. And but what? When I see you worshiping, when I see you ministering, and how you minister to me, dude, let me tell you it's a blessing, but I'm so thankful that you're in my life. Yeah, and it's funny because if anyone who doesn't know you and they meet you, they'll feel the Holy Spirit with you and they will never know what you just spoke on because of how well you handled the pain.
Speaker 1:You know what I can do, all things through Christ who strengthens me. It's not me, bro, like in my own strength. I would have picked up a tequila shot every day. Yeah, there was that temptation of just numbing the pain. If it was me, I would be smoking a joint or a blunt. It was up to me. I would have done a lot of things that didn't please the Lord to try to do it in my own strength. Somebody told me the other day you're a good man. And I told him, brother, I'm not a good man. Anything that's good in me is because of God. Amen. You can't spell good without God.
Speaker 2:And I told him bro, and there's anything.
Speaker 1:Good about me or anything that you admire about me. It doesn't come from Ezekiel, it doesn't come from my own strength. It comes from God, and the only way that I that I know how to get out of a situation is Grabbing my guitar. This is how I do it. It's getting in my office and my, in my room, in my house, my secret place, grabbing my guitar or putting on some worship, apple music, whatever it is and praising God, bro, and getting on my knees and just crying out to him. I don't got it all together. God, like, literally, get me out of this situation. And this reminds me and I know I have you as a guest, bro, but this is long overdue but in 2019, the people don't know this very almost nobody from YA FWC know this. Probably you're the only person that I'm telling right now, and then whoever watches this.
Speaker 1:But in 2019, bro, I had a meltdown, I had a breakdown. I shaved my head, like not completely, but like I've always had a type of hair like this. I couldn't show her. I Was very depressed. I couldn't see the color and things. Everything looked gloomy. I felt like I had a cloud over my head, and Sometimes we go through a lot of traumas in our life but we put it in the back burner, right.
Speaker 1:You, your mind might forget, but your body does it. I got diagnosed. I went to see a therapist, my doctor. They do a PHQ nine at your regular doctor's office and, depending on how you score this, they'll talk to you about your mental health. And I score very high on it, like suicidal thoughts, depressed, all this stuff. And then she had a conversation with me. She said I think you would have been in fit from going to see a therapist. So I go see a therapist and that day I was diagnosed with PTSD, post-traumatic stress. I was diagnosed with bipolar, being bipolar. I got diagnosed with insomnia and depression and I was prescribed a couple medications for depression, for insomnia, so I could sleep, and I was given those diagnosis.
Speaker 1:Wow, it's 2019, 2019 In a couple. A month passes by and it hit me. I'm like God. How can somebody that serves you, how can someone that believes in you, how can somebody feel this way? God, I refuse to live a life of depression. You may go through a moment of depression, you may go through anxious moments, yeah, but to live in those seasons, to stay in those seasons, that's a different story. Yeah, I had to ask God to really deliver me. I got the, the medication, I put it in the bag and I tossed it to the side. I grabbed my guitar and I started to sing to God. I started to worship to God and I can honestly tell you that I Worshiped and I praised my way out of my depression, out of my anxiety. You could have chose to stay there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's a lot, of, a lot of young adults do he, do they like, they like that feeling. It's, it's scary, it's a scary feeling.
Speaker 1:You know what God did? He, he convicted me and he, he, he pushed me towards forgiveness. Hmm, yes, I worship God. Yes, I praise God. Yes, I received the word from God. Yes, I received the word from God, but there was something that got required for me, and that was to forgive Talking about forgiveness.
Speaker 2:Then were you ever mad at God for what he took away from you when it came to your mom? Because it was because you didn't expect that you were. You thought she was gonna be okay, was controlled, and then next you know it's turned from breast cancer to something in the brain where you were you ever mad, was ever a moment. You were actually like you know what I am mad.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I was mad at God, but I definitely questioned him, me and my father and I'm working on this. I've happened and I've had to forgive my father multiple times in my life. One of them was when my parents got divorced and he caused that whole situation. But I remember when my mom passed away, I asked God why did you take my mother and not my father? That sounds terrible, but I, in my in my soul, I felt like I would have been better off still having my mom, and the reason I said this is because at the time, my dad was in jail Wow, people know this, bro.
Speaker 1:And and in December of 2022, I took my dad to the court and I was the only one there. I has hearing Nobody was there, because my dad has done some things and he doesn't have, and it saddens me, but I love my father. I'll honor him. I honor him. The word of God says honor your father and your mother so that you may live long in the land the Lord, your God, has given you Exodus 2012,. And that doesn't mean honor him. They treat you good. It doesn't mean honor them if they loved you or whatever the case may be, but I was the only one there and it was so surreal my mom dealing with cancer, me and my dad's hearing about he's about to go into jail. He did a plea what is it a plea deal? A plea deal. So he turns himself in and I was the only one there and a public defender there was there and he gave me his wallet, his stuff and the hand, cuffed them in front of me and they took him off and in prison we found because he was already back with my mom. It's crazy, it was a crazy testimony but they had gotten remarried and so they were married again after four years. Wow, but for the sake of the story, my mom and my dad were already together and he was going to jail and I had found all these things that were hurtful and all these things that I was very discouraged and disappointed. So when my mom passes away, I know all this information, all these things that have happened.
Speaker 1:So I questioned God why did you take my mom and not my father? Yeah, that's a real question and I was wrong for that. I repent of that. God, I'm sorry that I questioned you like that and that I even threw my father under the bus like that. I felt like the Lord told me your mother's purpose had been fulfilled already and, because of mercy and grace and the love I still have for your father, he's still walking this earth because he still has time to get things right and to repent.
Speaker 1:Sometimes God will give us more time because we still have a purpose to fulfill, or we are given some extra grace time. You know when you're late on a credit card and sometimes they'll give you that grace period so you can get your finances together and pay that card. That's what happened with my father. He was given a grace period. And who am I to question God's love and mercy and grace? Blessed are those who are merciful, because they will be shown mercy, amen. So I did question God, but when he revealed that to me, I had to go again and forgive my father. Go again and contact him and meet him up and put everything to the side. Life is about constant forgiving others, because we constantly need to be forgiven. Come on.
Speaker 2:Come on.
Speaker 1:I had some questions for you. Ask, let's hear it. But before I get that, I just wanna share a quick then. This is the last thing I'm gonna be sharing about me, because we're talking too much about me and we have you here. I'm gonna be very vulnerable and transparent. Nobody's gonna know this at Family Worship Center or anything until it comes out, besides you. Maybe tomorrow because I'm speaking.
Speaker 1:But when you were talking about forgiveness and all that, when I was five years old, I got sexually abused and assaulted by a family member. After the event, after that happened, my mind kinda just blocked it off. You get traumatized, so your body and your mind just blocks it out. But when I turned around 10 and I was 10 and I started getting nightmares and flashbacks and the imagery of what had happened, and so it started to torment me. I couldn't sleep.
Speaker 1:I started to deal with anxiety at 10 years old and so one day I decided to tell my mom. I got the courage enough to tell my mom. I remember I went into the room and I told her mom, can I talk to you? And my sister was there and she told my sister come on. And I talked to my mom and I told her what had happened and, after my mom listened to me, poured my heart out. She said, ezekiel, we're gonna do something right now. We're gonna pray and you're gonna forgive them, but don't forgive them if you don't mean it. We're not agreeing with what happened was right, we're not validating their actions, but this is to make you free and take the burden away from you. But she said, we're gonna pray and you're gonna forgive them, but only if you mean it. And I was like, all right.
Speaker 1:So we started to pray and the power of the Holy Ghost is powerful. So I started praying and I started professing with my mouth that I forgive them and God make me free. And I don't wanna deal with this. I kid you, not, man. After that prayer that night I slept, amen, and I slept. Good Praise God.
Speaker 1:I took off that burden, the heaviness from my life, from my soul, and so what I wanna tell people is that when you're going through a tough season, in a situation, forgiveness is the key. And I know for you, dom, you've been through a lot yourself. You know, like we said earlier, people see us on the pulpit, they see us preaching, but they don't see the journey that God is there, you, right now. They're gonna watch this podcast, they're gonna see the camera, the microphone and all this. They're not gonna see the struggle behind setting everything up. Oh man, nope, you know what I'm saying, but God has taken you from a very dark place to where you are right now. Before you were dedicated to FWC and doing what you're doing, you were a basketball player, a Hooper in college and all this, but you went through a dark season. How was it doing what you love and playing basketball and then dealing with an injury?
Speaker 2:It was a real interesting time because I feel like we are in such an identity crisis. I found my identity in everything else but being a child of God. So being a basketball player first, before a child of God, it put me in a position where I didn't know who I was, because I only found my identity in basketball. Wow, Okay, and it was scary because in my mind it was either basketball or nothing. Wow, and I feel like there's so many people, bro, that Bible says that many of the plans of man, but it's the Lord's will that prosper. You have many plans. I had many plans. I was like I'm gonna go to school, go to play basketball. Not one thing was of Lord. Let me do your will.
Speaker 1:Today, if you were given the choice to play professional basketball or to preach around the world, what would you choose? Kingdom of God.
Speaker 2:It's funny that you asked I actually got invited to a basketball camp and four overseas. Really, yeah and dude, it was weird because I was telling brother Caleb from family Westeros and I was telling him because he was always asking me you ready for this? I'm like I didn't feel like I was going out there for basketball anymore. Really, I feel like I was going out there for a bigger mission. And if 10 out of 10 times now being saved, being with Jesus, and I now realize, bro, like basketball's get a perish, kingdom of God will never. Everything I do will perish. Any plans I have will perish, that's good, but the kingdom of God never will. And now, no, what I thought, what my journey was, no, it's completely erased and had a better will.
Speaker 1:What's the difference between knowing about Jesus and walking with Jesus?
Speaker 2:When you're curious about him, your life, little things can change right. But when you're with Jesus, your life is completely different. It's not the same. I knew what I thought I knew about Jesus. I knew what he did to others around me and I was always so curious. I'm like who is this guy man? Who is this man that everyone talks about is so perfect? Who is this man that everyone worships running around A church? Why are they running like that? I was like I was that guy. Yeah, I was questioning why is everybody do that?
Speaker 2:For this guy named Jesus? It wasn't until I invited him in my heart. It wasn't until he was a brother, he was a friend, he was my father. There's so many forms that Jesus is for you and he's your shepherd. Hmm, he fulfills our needs, all of them. And he led me to Green Pastures. He placed me in still waters. But then there's times where I have conversations with him like you're, like you're my brother, you're my friend, closer than a brother. And having that relationship with Jesus Christ man saved me. It saved me. Now I can breathe.
Speaker 1:You have a friend, his name's Josh, and it's funny cause I see you guys sharing the platform up there together and I'm not gonna lie, I kind of stalked your Instagram a little bit cause we're doing this podcast and, bro, you guys have pictures from like 2014. Embarrassing man.
Speaker 1:We're gonna put them on screen so you guys can see them. But you guys have some pictures. Man and you guys have had a history together and well, he's a pastor's kid. I'm sure he would preach to you about Jesus and all this stuff. So, like you said, you knew about Jesus. You guys played basketball high school basketball together. You go to play college basketball. You were in great shape. You were having the time of your life Before you were a preacher. You were here drinking. We'll put that image right now so they can believe us. Yeah, and you were. I mean getting involved in having sex outside of marriage and drinking alcohol and all these other things. And then everything stops because you get an injury and then, when you get injured, they're prescribing you these medications. How did it feel not being able to do something you identify with, something that you identify yourself being Like? How was it? Taking medications and then falling to the addiction?
Speaker 2:Well, I guess we should start off as to how that even started. It was in college, when I was playing See. It was back in 2018, end of 2018, beginning of 2019. I always heard the term walk with the Lord. Walk with the Lord. I'm like I would go to church not often. This is before I left to.
Speaker 2:I was at Mason Community College first and I had asked God because I always heard that walk with the Lord, walk with the Lord. I was getting annoyed of that. I really was, because I'm like, okay, god, you're obviously keep bringing the statement up, and there was a time, bro, I was like you know what, let me ask him? Yeah, so I asked him. I said, god, I want to know what it's like to walk with you. Wow, a month later, tear my knee yeah, I was like okay. So, god, I asked to walk with you. I didn't ask to break me. Wow.
Speaker 2:So there goes my first knee surgery and I had ripped all my cartilage. I had a bone fragment the size of a quarter Really Floating in my knee. Man, that's intense and I guess I had that for two years. I didn't know about it. Two years. That's my senior year of high school dude. I got injured. I got injured. I didn't know, though I remember my knee always swelling up. The money was always hurting, always sore. And then it wasn't until my sophomore year of college. It just gave out and that quarter size piece of bone. It ripped a lot of stuff so I had a bone fragment floating in my knee, ripped all my cartilage, tore my meniscus Okay had my first knee surgery, mind you, a month after I had asked God I want to know what it's like to walk with you.
Speaker 2:Wow, very confused, they prescribed me medication. It was a pain. Let me tell you this was a pain Is it you or that? I've never experienced. It was a really, really weird pain, the best way I can describe it physically. Let's say, you grab a little rope, like a six, seven inch rope and put glass on it, and every time I would step it would just wiggle. Oh my God, it was weird. I was like this really hurts, Like it genuinely hurt. Bro, I'm like what God? I asked you let me walk with you.
Speaker 1:And that's crazy that as soon as you did that prayer, you asked God, let me walk with you. I want to walk with you. That happens to you, yeah.
Speaker 2:So there I go with my first knee surgery, and it was a roller coaster of emotions Cause I'm like, okay, god, I thought my identity was what everyone knew me, as was oh, dom, he's a Hooper. Oh, now Dom's broken, broken, I don't know him anymore. Really, it was weird. I was like everyone only knew me for basketball, everyone only knew me as the cool kid, the handsome kid, the good, the funny dude with the good family played basketball. It was never. Oh, he's a man of God. You do look like handsome Squidward. Oh man, that's a big name right there.
Speaker 2:And we asked there I go with my first knee surgery, man. And they gave me all these medications and, like I said, it was weird because I never spoke about it to my family, no friends, it was straight just to me. And, god, I'm like you know what, god, this really hurts, dude. So there I go. They prescribed me like a generic type of percocet and I can't lie, it felt good, it felt really good. So instead of just taking one, I'd find myself two at a time, then three at a time. You're not supposed to take more than three yeah.
Speaker 2:Dude, and it was scary, you're on one. It was really scary because no one knew and I was at my parents house and no one knew and I hid it because I'm like I just didn't want no one to see this, because everyone only knew me as the cool version of Dom. I always hid my brokenness.
Speaker 1:I wonder how many people don't know, right, how many people are in that same situation where they're going through something and nobody really knows, not even the ones closest to them, not even their own family, their own parents, their own loved ones, the significant other. And it's crazy, like, what do you do when everybody knows you as a hooper, the handsome, the cool basketball player, the one with the cool shoes, and then you don't have that to offer anymore? Right, who are you? Imagine being a singer and you can't sing for the rest of your life? Right, what happens? And you lost friends, you lost, or you felt like people just didn't see you the same.
Speaker 2:So, right, after my first knee surgery, I thought basketball was done, right. I went through a crazy rehab. I had a rehab not only physically, but like mentally, but I was so depressed because I only found my identity in something that was going to perish. Wow, and like that's what happens. Though, when you think that you're doing something so right and God's like come on, you're my son. You think that's all you have. Oh, that's good, like we come from God Almighty. You think all he had to offer was for Dominic just to play basketball. No, there's nations. He has to take over Nations. He's already taking over man. And so, after my first knee surgery, I thought I was done. Random, blessing God. I don't know how this happened, but I got a call from a little small school in Iowa bro, I get a text message, a random text message. He goes. Hey, I seen your mix tape on Twitter. I was like why he goes.
Speaker 1:We got to pull up that, that mix tape. We're going to have it for you guys.
Speaker 2:He was like I seen your mix tape on Twitter. I know you're injured right now, but can you come play for us? I'm like what? I don't know nothing about this school. I'm like let's go. I'm not even healed yet. Dude, like legit, I'm still going through all my rehab stuff. My knee's still all ugly and all scarred up, but I was like all right, let's just do it. And that's where my second knee surgery comes from. And this is where it gets real dark, because now I'm away from familiar territory. I've never really seen snow besides like flag stuff. And now here I am in the middle of Iowa. I don't know nothing about Iowa. Man, dude, like legit, I get to the airport. You're the brownest person there.
Speaker 2:Dude, there's like three of us there. Literally it was. Iowa was a blessing, but again, you really have to watch out what you ask for. I ask God, let me know what it's like to walk with you. So he breaks me and then he takes me away from my home. So here I am, in the middle of Iowa, away from familiar territory, still don't have a true relationship with Jesus, away from familiar territory, and God's like, okay, walk. And this is where I fell real into a real scary darkness that even friends, family still don't know. And so after I'm playing in Iowa this is before my second knee surgery I'm playing basketball, doing amazing, doing great things for the community, and then, boom, tear my knee again, do the exact same thing.
Speaker 1:Man, how does that feel? Like you've done the rehab, you've done the routines, you go through the process.
Speaker 2:It was less than a year apart. I'm like God. This is where-.
Speaker 1:Were you taking prescribed medication, then already I was done, I was done.
Speaker 2:Yes. So now here I am in the middle of Iowa, no family. I'm like, barely calling my mom and dad every now and then. I didn't talk to my brother and sister. I had no pastor to follow. I had nothing. All I had was what the world had to offer, and this is where I started substituting everything in my life except Jesus. And this is where I fell, and this was something that took me to humble myself, to realize that I caused a lot of my pain. Instead of calling out to the Lord, I pushed him to the side because I know you can do this, but I'll wait for you to do this. I'm going to go do this instead. That's good, and it was like. I'm like, looking back at it was frustrating because I delayed that process. You prolonged the process. Yes, I delayed that all because I was finding fulfillment and joy and something that will perish.
Speaker 2:What was it that you were doing At that time? It was party partying, partying, drinking, sex, pornography. All this because I asked God, show me how to walk with you If God takes something away from you that you love. It really shows who you are. It really shows, it exposes you. It exposes you and you feel naked before God. You're like. Wait a minute. I asked for a blessing, God's like. I did bless you because I took away the ability for you to walk, because you were walking on the wide and broad gate that would lead to destruction.
Speaker 1:Do you think it was God's plan for you to fall into those things, though, like drinking and smoking and doing all kinds of stuff? Or was it because, instead of you seeking the Lord, when he did subtract what you most love from your life, instead of you finding fulfillment in him and healing in him, whether it's physical or emotional, he went the opposite?
Speaker 2:route, see, and that's where I question that still. But I find peace in knowing that I went through that now to help young men that are struggling with that, because I can't relate to people who haven't gone through things the way I have. I can preach peace, I can preach love, but I can relate to you more if you struggle with pornography, because, hey, I've been there. I can relate to you if you battle with lust, hey, I've been there. And this is where I called out to Jesus Christ the name above every other name, that only him through there's healing. And this is where the true healing started to come into place. Because now, after my second knee surgery, this is where I got really scary, suicidal thoughts started to come into play.
Speaker 1:Because I think there's a picture of you on media day. Oh man, you guys are supposed to take pictures and you had a whole bunch of scratches on your forearm, your left forearm.
Speaker 2:I believe that's where it was really scary for me, because, again, this is where God wanted to expose me. Yeah, because I started to do things, bro, where I'm like this isn't you. Yeah, I struggled with self harm and to this day I still can't believe it, because I'm like Dom, that's not you, that's not like what are you doing. There'd be days, bro, in practices, where no one knew everyone to see me. Everyone knew Dom. Oh hey, dom, dom's a party bro. He dropped 30 points in the game and still party the next day, and everyone saw me that way, right? But no one saw me when I got into my room.
Speaker 1:After the lights were turned off.
Speaker 2:After all, all the fans are cheering your name, after all the announcements right, I'm human. I get into my room and I was struggling so much with depression. I had to. I saw a therapist twice a week but no one knew. My coach knew and it was because after one day, bro, there was a day I struggled with self harm and I was cutting myself. It got to that point. It was weird, because I'm like battling these things. Dude, where I'm sitting there, why am I bleeding on my hand? I would cry, like I feel like I was like outside of my body, looking at my younger self, like dude, what are you doing? And all because I was feeling pain. Yeah, instead of running to the Prince of Peace, I ran to the world to try to feel something in me that was never going to fill me.
Speaker 1:So what was the reasoning behind hurting yourself? Was it because I'm trying to understand? I mean, obviously I felt pain and gone through a lot of things, but I've never hurt myself. Why, what's the reasoning behind it? Do you hurt yourself for that, to distract you of the pain? Or what's the reasoning?
Speaker 2:behind it. It was a masking, it was something that I could feel instead of ending it, and it's serious. It's real serious in that point because you're like, there was a time, bro, I was sitting in my room, man, and I was like, if I just take this whole bottle of prescription pills right now, so what would really happen? Like the devil can't kill you, but he can definitely play with your mind, and my mind was so gone, bro, it was scary. So we had I didn't know this, but we had media day. Yeah, a day after I had just cut myself.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I'll be real, real, honest for those who are watching, I had cut myself in between my thighs and on my forearms and my hands, and only two of my roommates really knew about it. And there was a day, bro, where I had just cut myself, dude, and we had media day the next day and I totally forgot about it. So my coach was like all right, guys, make sure you get your jersey on wearing blue, no long sleeves. You guys know the drill. All this bother, mike, here we go. Next day comes, media day comes, bro, and I come out the room, go to the locker room, put all my jersey, put my long sleeve on because my whole arm bro was cut up. That's great and it was weird because that day it was really bad. It was like I cut myself really bad, Like your hand is.
Speaker 1:your arm is still burning from.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, legit. And I was like oh no, dude, here we go. So there I am trying to be all slick, putting a whole long sleeve on right Coach looks at me, he goes, I got a long sleeve on.
Speaker 2:I'm like was it like those dry fit, yeah, and it was like matching my uniform, so I thought it would be cool. He goes, you know that, take it off All the guys. Like Dom, come on. You never wear a long sleeve. I'm like, bro, I want to wear a long sleeve today, wasn't fooling anybody.
Speaker 2:And this is where God, I wished. I knew that God was with me the whole time, even though he was beautiful. I just didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know. In that moment, bro, I was so embarrassing.
Speaker 2:There I go in my heart, I'm in there, like change right here. I'm like, no, let me go to the locker. They're like, no, just change, right here. Sometimes God wants to expose you, just to show you who you are, because you need him. That's good, you need him, but he wants and desires you. So there I go, take off my shirt, bro, take off my sleeve, dude, in front of everybody, everybody, dude, everyone.
Speaker 2:Because, mind you, I was starting point guard, but I was well known in the town. I was, I was, I was bawling out dude, and I was. I wasn't just a bench player, I was a starter. Everyone looks at me, dude. They see it. Their eyes straight go down to my arm. They're like bro, you good, I lied. I was like, yeah, bro, I jumped the fence. There was a fight and I jumped the fence at the bar. Dude, they're like Dom, they didn't believe you. No, they didn't, they're just holding anybody. And that's where my life really changed. I cried, I cried out to God. Oh, my God, I know. I said I wanted to walk with you. I didn't know it's going to be like this. And I remember there was a day, dude, it was, it was a Thursday. I remember it was so clear, just like two days a day no they had legit.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a Thursday, dude, we had just got out of practice real late Good practice too. I get back to my room, bro, and I remember sitting in my room and something changed. I'm sitting on the floor, I have this song build my life on yeah, and it was funny because that's the exact song that was cutting myself to. Really, yeah, it was weird because I had a teammate named Lincoln Rock.
Speaker 2:God bless that man. He was a man of God, bro. Yeah, and he would. He would just love me. He loved me and he would always tell me, bro, just put worship music on, pray, come on, listen, you can do it. He believed in me. Yeah, he saw something in me that I didn't see myself. That's how it would be sometimes, and you know what I love about what God does is that when you cry out to God, he'll anoint your friend. When you cry out to God, he'll anoint someone around you to deliver, and Lincoln was that. For me, it was weird. So there I am in my room, dude, crying, depressed, lonely, just done for, done for dude. I'm sitting in my room, I have built my life on. Here I go again with these thoughts, bro. Again, no one knows what I did in this room and I'm crying out to God, god, please, that's all I kept saying, please, didn't know what to say. Please.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was desperation.
Speaker 2:And man, it's something about when God's children call onto their father, when a son calls to his father, bro, and he came into the room. I have my hands, bro, just on my face. Dude, I was crying and all I felt in the room was love.
Speaker 1:You can feel it, I can feel love, and that was one of the first times you ever felt love.
Speaker 2:That was the first encounter I had with true love. That's good. That was the first encounter I really had with my father, who loved me, who seen the scars, yeah. Who seen me acting lust, who seen me drunk and like Adam and Eve, in the garden, right when they got exposed and they were naked and they were hiding behind the bushes, right and God, I was like Adam, where are you? He asked him. Come on. He knew where he was. Why would he ask him where are you? It's because he was somewhere where he wasn't supposed to be. That's good.
Speaker 2:A lot of times you'll catch yourself. You know that you are somewhere where you're not supposed to be, but are you humble enough to ask God, god, show me where you want me to be? It was that day I surrendered my life. I battled with things after that, but I was walking different. You weren't walking by yourself in your own strength. I was not walking in my own identity. I had to die to myself. I had to repent True, truly repent, truly repent, because there's a difference. When you say God, forgive me, lord, that just means he's your Savior, he's not your Lord. It's so easy to say, yeah, jesus is my Savior, but is he your Lord. So many people forget that these days, when you surrender your life, it doesn't say just to your Savior Jesus. No, it says you're Lord and Savior, savior's the easy part. Yeah, that's for everybody, lord, as you're under new jurisdiction. Why? Because now you're free. You're following something, but you're free.
Speaker 1:What do you tell those people? That they feel guilt, they feel ashamed, but yet they can't stop doing what they're doing, whether it's pornography, whether it's smoking weed, whether it's drinking to numb the pain or hurting themselves or even being suicidal. What can you tell them?
Speaker 2:Those who drink from my well shall never thirst again. If you are constantly doing what you're stuck in and you're still doing it, maybe that's a sign that you're drinking for something and you're still thirsty for it. But Jesus says it those who drink from my well will never thirst again. Praise God If you were continually stuck in that one sin that only you and God know about, because there's a lot of us that only you know yourself better than anyone else ever will, Not even your wife, your husband, your best friend, your mom, your pastor. You can fool whoever you want, but you will not fool the maker of the heavens and earth, and you're great at masking it.
Speaker 1:You're great at fooling everybody else, but we know that we can't fool God.
Speaker 2:Can't. And if you find yourself stuck, if you're listening to this and you find yourself stuck in pornography, in lust, maybe even that's something that you're stuck from what you were little, that's something that happened to you and you have not told anybody about it because you don't have the courage to ask, that's okay. That's okay. To not be courageous just yet because you're scared, that's okay. But just remember Jesus sets you free, that's right.
Speaker 1:And I want to say, for those people that are thinking about suicide, let me just tell you that the solution is not death, the solution is life. And who is life? This answered in John 14, six. I am the way, the truth and the life. The answer to your problem, the answer to your situation, to how you feel, is never going to be death.
Speaker 1:We don't end things with death, we start things with life, and we know that when we leave this earth, we're still going to be before a great, mighty God on his throne, and I just want to tell you that Jesus is the one that can fill you up. He is life. So if you're feeling some type of way, let me just tell you that God can help you get through it. God can open the Red Sea, but it's up to you to walk through it and he can guide you through it. And as he opened the Red Sea and he didn't just open it, he said he dried the ground on it and they walked on. So God will make a great way, god will open the Red Sea, but we have to take the step.
Speaker 2:And imagine the waves that they saw walking through it. Not only were they walking on dry ground now, but imagine looking to your left, you see a wave and you see. You look to the right, you see the other wave. That's true, that's scary. Yeah, if you're looking at it, if you're only looking at what's holding on to you, you'll find what you're looking for. Trust me, you will. Amen, I'm in the bad.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've seen it. I've seen it and you know I saw you sent me some notes and I did see that you lost somebody. Can you elaborate on that?
Speaker 2:So the man that rehabbed me back to put me on my feet, his name was James Johnson. He was James Johnson. Yes, team USA's wrestling coach man. He was so well known around the world. Wow, like anyone, anyone, you meet this man and you're like he was like six, six, about two or five, 50. Man's hands are just ginormous. He was. He was a champ man. He three gold medals back to back to back and he, he would love you like Christ and it was weird. So after these surgeries I had, after the third knee surgery, it was funny because I was joyful with that one, because I was walking differently. I was walking with the Lord at that time.
Speaker 1:The third one was that, after you had done that prayer, after that encounter of you in that room listening to that worship song, speaking in tongues, yep, yeah.
Speaker 2:It was after. After the second one, after I surrendered my life, I got injured again. I told my meniscus again, yeah, and that was a third time. But that one was different. I rejoiced with that one because I understood that the devil had no power and these pain was not from the devil, yeah, and I asked God to get my attention and he did. That's how he did it for me. Now, after my third knee surgery, I thought I was in the clear.
Speaker 1:You're like I'm good, I've gone through the season. Yes, I've gone stranger.
Speaker 2:I was mad at you, lord, but now you're my best friend, now you're my Lord and Savior. Like now, let's get back to it. I get back to college, my junior year in Iowa, and that whole three-year span of me not being able to walk, going through surgeries, going to rehab, it was Johnson and he would speak a word of faith to me every time we would train, every time we would rehab, and he was just so full of joy, bro, and he got me back on my feet.
Speaker 1:Because they had told you that you weren't going to be able to walk again or play again.
Speaker 2:That was scary. So after my second knee surgery, I had gotten the word and you can tell it's my mom. I cried like a baby man. I called my mom right away. The doctor looked at my knee. My knee was not accepting the new piece. I have a cadaver's piece in my knee, do you? Yeah, so it's not even my knee, bro.
Speaker 2:So what they did was they carved out a bigger piece and put a cadaver's piece in. But what was happening? I had no blood flow to my knee and my knee was getting infected. Really, I could not. My bone wouldn't fuse together.
Speaker 1:Man, how frustrating is that.
Speaker 2:It was very frustrating. I was really mad. I can't even lie Like I was mad, imagine. But you know what was. This is all glory to God After my third knee surgery, because I had gotten that news after the second knee surgery is that, hey Dom, if your bone doesn't heal together, bro, you're not playing basketball.
Speaker 2:I was like what do you mean? I'm not playing basketball. They're like look, and they show me my x-ray. And sure enough, it wasn't going together. They said you're done. Like you can't keep doing that. And he looked at me and he goes do you want to have kids one day? Like of course he has to do that. No, legit. And he was like hey, the doctor, do you want to have kids one day? I'm like of course he goes. Do you want to play with them? I'm like yeah, he goes. Then it's best you stop playing now so you can be able to run with them when you're 30. Wow, I was like whoa, hold on, dude. I got offended. Yeah, I was like you can't tell me that, bro. Like come on Now. My pride and ego got in the way. Yeah, yeah, call my mom, call me if something I love, yes.
Speaker 2:They just told me I'm done. I didn't listen, and neither did my coach Johnson. He goes. Who do you? Whose report you're going to believe? He was from Kentucky.
Speaker 1:He had a crazy crazy accent. He was real with, he was like whose report you're going to believe.
Speaker 2:Son, who's not sugar coating anything? He would. Always his term was piece of cake. He's like it's a piece of cake. Here by am with my leg like this it's a piece of cake. I'm like bro, what so? He had so much faith in me and he trained me, he pushed me, and then September of 2019 comes. I'm shooting with my friend, my roommate Gary, in the gym. I get a call from my mom. Mind you, I had just I talked to Johnson. All the time we text call. I get a random call from my mom on a Saturday in the gym, dude, and she goes hey, where are you at? I'm like I'm shooting. What's up? It's Saturday morning.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was working out yeah, I was working on the gym and then I get a call from my mom. She goes, hey, like what are you doing? Though I'm like I'm at the gym, mom. She goes Johnson died. No way, I'm like, just like that. Like what do you mean, bro? So he had a. He had health issues. He was in another country, he had came back and he had died really suddenly of I believe it was a heart attack and also a hernia that busted and it got really ugly. They found it in his room. I was like, all right, god. Now I have questions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, why did you take him? Why him? Why?
Speaker 2:Not only was it you put me through, I get it, you broke me, I get it. You got my attention, I'm yours, I get it. But you just took the person that had so much faith in me. Why and here comes the darkness again and I'm like what is going on, dude, and it was scary, because he was someone I could rely on, and God's like he's my son too, though His mission was completed. Yeah, like my mom.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was weird. I'm like in my mind always, again, we have ways, yeah, but God's ways are not always. His thoughts are not our thoughts, and his mission was done but it was still going through. Every athlete he taught, every athlete he trained. It multiplied everyone. I talked to some athletes still today that are trained by him and we all have like that same like bond or DNA. Yeah, yeah, why? Because of him? Yeah, and it was weird because I'm like, okay, now going through a death, bro. I didn't know how to react, I don't know how to accept it. The way I coached with that was working out. Yeah Was. Now I'm here drinking more because, let's be real, there is one guaranteed thing in this life we're all going to die.
Speaker 1:That's right, and I'm not saying that to scare anybody but we're all going to die and that just shows you like we know the day we were born, but we don't know our expiration date. Right, we're all promised to everybody the same way it's promised to you, so that way that tells us like we have a purpose to fulfill and we can be wasting time. Time is precious. Why do you think criminals pay with their time? Why do you think you get paid for your time? Yeah, you know money comes in, goes, but when time is passed you can't get it back, cannot?
Speaker 2:get it back, and that's where having eyes like a dove really comes into play, because I studied doves, bro. It's weird, but I did, I did, I studied it.
Speaker 1:Man, your whole Google, your whole Google. History is over here. A bunch of doves.
Speaker 2:YouTube and everything. It was weird. But having eyes like a dove. Yeah, Doves always travel in Paris, Do they? And they always. They're always producing, meaning they're mating.
Speaker 1:They're always giving birth. They like us Mexicans. Come on now. They really listen to the word of God when.
Speaker 2:I say going ahead and multiply, bro man, you're telling me all the married couples out there, good luck. Look, just went to Miami.
Speaker 1:I don't know man Right now.
Speaker 2:I've been in Miami for nine months from now, oh no, Don't be surprised, but what I love about this about the doves, bro is that they're always mating. 24 seven are constantly mating. When you were that connected to God, you always produced new life in the middle of any season. That's good and that actually reminds me. That's something that I want to ask you. I know we talked about the passing of your mom, but what about the blessing that came into your life? I don't know if the audience knows that yet. Do you want to talk about that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, man, my baby had a. I love her man. It's so crazy because she reminds me of my mom so much, really, like I look at her and when my baby stares at me, she can look into my soul, like I feel it. And honestly, for my son is five years old, jeremiah, and you mentioned him a little bit. He loves music, he's a drummer. He likes guitar.
Speaker 2:That kid is anointed man, I can't wait to get all this Videos of him on stage man.
Speaker 1:If you visit our church, you will see him on stage worshiping God, playing his guitar. Yes, you will. So he's going for Caleb's job. He's going to take the drum set.
Speaker 2:He's coming for your job.
Speaker 1:Hey, you can take my today if you can. There it is. But so my son is five years old and we didn't take any precautions for five years, man. So whatever had to happen had to happen. So there's a period in my life where I'm like, god, is this, it Like in my only have one son, if it is cool. But I mean, I desire more children.
Speaker 1:We went to this event and there was a prophet that was at this event. He calls me out and he starts prophesying over my life and he has the gift of wisdom. So he starts saying things that are true, that he doesn't know about. He never met me before. Yeah, he's from Argentina, come on, I don't even go to the church where he's at, so nobody could have told him. And he starts telling me all these things. But one of the things that he said to me and my wife because he called was your wife. Like, bring your wife. So we started praying and he says that God is going to open some doors. And he told me the month when I was going to find out. And he said my daughter is on his way. And what is crazy about the story, too, is that he had mentioned February, and in February was when my mom's health was depleting. He had given us this word in July of 2022 and it wasn't until February of 2023 when it's happening. But that's when I'm also headed to Hermosillo, sonora, to go see my mom and my wife.
Speaker 1:On the way there, I was driving to Hermosillo in the middle of the night, bro, it was super sketchy. It was kind of bro. I went through this route where I'm like man, I hope no Sicario cartel person pops out and stops me. I'm in my truck, you know what I'm saying. But I was on a mission to go see my mom and on the way there, my wife calls me and she's like hey, are you driving? I'm like, yeah, she's like you probably want to pull over. I'm like what happened? And she tells me I'm pregnant. Like she tells me the news, and I'm like ecstatic, I'm excited, I'm happy, I'm like I couldn't believe it and I already knew what it was. Nobody had to tell me if it was a boy or a girl. I didn't even have to do the tests that the doctor does. I already knew that it was going to be a girl because I had a prophesied and it happened exactly how God said it would happen. So I go to Mexico and you know my mom's in agony, she's in pain, but one of the last things I was able to tell her before she totally lost it was that my wife had gotten pregnant and my mom was so happy, praise God. And yeah, there's moments where I'm like man, my mom would have loved you. I tell my baby girl like my mom would have loved to held you and all this.
Speaker 1:But it's so interesting how God takes something but he never leaves us empty handed. Come on, you know he took something I love, but he gave me something that I very value. It's changing me as a man, is changing my perspective. It's so. She's so different from my son. My son would sleep through the night and his baby girl is waking up every two hours. It's insane. My son is very independent. He doesn't even like to be held, he likes to play and do his own thing. My daughter wants to be held and and you know she hardly smiles with anybody that she doesn't know. She's only five months. She looks at me, she just smiles. And then I feel like God says here, right in the perfect moment, in the, in God's perfect timing, he gives me this gift, this bundle of joy Because, I mean, he got to bless me with the daughter two years ago, three years ago, yeah, but he did it right at the time where he knew it was going to be an instrumental blessing to my life.
Speaker 2:I had someone tell me this is in church and I forgot what his name was. But he looked at me at an altar, didn't pray for me. He looked at me he's a son, open your eyes. He said God is never late, he's right on time. Yeah, at first I'm like bro, what, and that kind of relates to that. It's weird because God's timing is everything.
Speaker 1:Bro, god's timing is everything. Let me tell you I know my wife since we were four years old. I put a picture. Praise God About it. Four years old, bro, must be nice. My mother-in-law was our Sunday school teacher. Oh, that's sick. When we're 11, 12 years old, my wife leaves the church that we grew up in. She goes to help her aunt and her uncle open up a ministry. So I didn't see my wife from age 12 to 17. Bro, she walks in at 17, a grown, anointed woman of God, and I was like, oh my God. I was like, ooh, who's that he's not lying.
Speaker 2:He's not lying. I promise this man.
Speaker 1:But I was like man, I was intrigued, I was mesmerized.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Was he an 19 brother. He was an 19.
Speaker 1:But let me tell you that 17-year-old Ezekiel, because we're the same age, is not the 28-year-old you see before your eyes right now. I was a player. Don't hate the player, hit the game, come on. No, I was. I was just. I was messing around with the hearts of the church girls. I was just trying to have fun. I was not taking nobody serious. I was young. I was not a husband material.
Speaker 1:So thank God that we didn't go out at that time, because we would have gotten into a relationship, because I saw her, she saw me. I knew, I knew what's up. No, but I. I thank God because it wasn't God's timing. Yet, right, we didn't go out. She went and got in another relationship. It wasn't God's favor, it wasn't favored by God. Hallelujah, praise the Lord, come on. He wasn't meant to be. You know, she had to come back to, to the arms of her, of her, of her man, but it was till 21. We're 20, 20, 21.
Speaker 1:We started going out in 2017 no, sorry, 2016. We we started dating September 26. We did it a whole year and then we got married on December 16th my mom's birthday, 2017. Wow, but it was God's timing, because God knew when it was our time to get together and who we had to be with. You feel me. And then, and so it's all in God's timing. He, he works everything perfect. Because if we would have rushed it, if we would have dated when we're 17, you know it would have gone down the wrong way, the wrong route. And so sometimes it is the right person, but is it the right time? Hmm, you feel me to word, and maybe it is the right. It is the blessing that God wants for you, it is the job it is. He has plans to prosper you, not to harm you, but maybe you're not able to handle it just yet. I can't give my son a brand new truck. Why not? He's barely three years old. I mean five years old. Yeah, time flies, he's five years old. He's not gonna handle it Right, sometimes people can't handle blessings, they can't handle an increase in their finances, because God knows at the moment that their pockets get full.
Speaker 1:Come on, their faith gets empty. Speaking they, they stop relying on God. They, they put their trust on their dollar bills and they put on the word of God, the Bible, the holy word of Jesus Christ. Come on, and sometimes money doesn't change nobody. I believe that money amplifies who you really are. Come on, it's true, you know very and money, money is not evil, but it's the love of money that's the root of all evil. And I know that your time will come. Your blessing is on its way, your blessings on its way. The time, only God knows. Because there's a process to everything, even David. He got anointed at age 15. Around there they say the euligence, but the word of God tells us that he didn't become keen until he was 30 years old. So there was a 15 year process, but he waited 15 years. And we can't even wait a couple months. No, you know, I'm saying so good.
Speaker 1:So I time is everything. I'd rather wait on God's timing and be ready for it than rush it and everything collapse on me. I mean, what do I gain? To gain the whole world, but lose my soul. Come on, and before you Get married, before, look, let me tell you, is the ring doesn't make anybody a husband or a wife. Speak on this. You already a husband and you already a wife. Before the ring says he who finds a wife finds a good thing.
Speaker 1:Yes, sir and then say, say he who finds somebody that later on he gets proposed to it and puts a ring, finds a good thing? No, you, you're already a husband and you're already a wife before the ring. So you got to ask yourself I want to get married, I Want, I want to have children, but am I the right one? Because it's you're praying for a woman of God. But that woman of God is praying for a man of God, right? Are you that man of God, mm-hmm, are?
Speaker 2:you preaching. You know I'm saying you're preaching today. I love, I love what you said, though You're, you're like it's it's not God's time yet. I feel like in the younger adults, man, we, we're, we're waiting for the rain to come, yeah, we're waiting for these blessings to come, and a lot of the times, like your blessing, will come at that God's time. Right, but what that has a lot to do with I would. I've noticed, and especially in like my life and like my close friends, I guess, if you do not like the chapter of your book right now, maybe you don't know who your author is, mmm, Because those who know those those who those who know who is writing their story trust that there's gonna be some chapters in your life that do not make sense.
Speaker 1:And how are you wanting to get to the next chapter if you haven't closed the previous one yet, mmm?
Speaker 1:in order for God to open the new doors, you must close the old ones and accept it, and accept it. People have opened doors to bitterness, to anger, to depression, to anxiety, to lust. They have all these doors that are open, but that are not open necessarily from God. Yes, and God has better things for you. He wants to pour in to your vessel, but before he can pour into your vessel, he must cleanse you out, and he's not gonna cleanse you out if you're not willing to pour out of your flesh, of what's inside of you, of your bitterness. God wants to open the door of Prosperity, of love, of joy, of greater and mightier things, but you must learn to and you must be willing to close the old Doors. Amen, because this is a season, this is a year of open doors, but in God gonna open no door if you're not willing to close the old ones. Imagine that.
Speaker 2:Imagine that we have a door open, but yeah, we're still trying to unlock that, the door that's God locked for us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's done. Let me tell you the door that God has opened for you. You ain't even have to knock on it, it will be open, and then and if you find yourself knocking on the door and it hasn't opened yet is not from God. I'm in. You're trying to force that shot. I'm in. Isn't it beautiful when your shot is on Atomatic, and you're hot and you have the rhythm. You are, though, you have the favor of God upon your life. It feels like you can't miss a shot. It feels like the basket is like 20 feet, it is throwing up in the blessings and it goes in your step curry with the shot. But what happens when you're forcing it?
Speaker 2:Hmm, it looks unnatural, it doesn't look easy and those around you watching like what are you doing?
Speaker 1:That's the ball man. There's gonna be seasons where you have to pass the ball and it's not your season to take the shot. That's a word. There's gonna be a season where you might find yourself on the bench, like Tom Brady. But if you seek preparation and not opportunity, when the time is near and when the time comes, you'll be ready. And sometimes people do not seek preparation, they're only seeking opportunity, man, and therefore they are scavengers of the word and not students of the word. Amen, because when you're a student, you're ready in and out of season. Come on, you feel me? Come on, and when you're just a scavenger, when your number is called, you're like okay, what am I gonna preach about? What verses do I use? Mm-hmm, and you're preaching to the ooze and the odds and not to the need. Come on, because when you're in tune with the spirit, when you're in God's frequency, man, you will know what to preach about when your number is called.
Speaker 2:I read a book. That's so powerful man. I read a book, dude, and it was straight up. It said if you want, if you're looking to be used by God more than you want to be with God, you're in it for the wrong thing. Man, you should be with God so much that you're being used because of how close you're with him. Yeah, there's a lot of young adults today. They want to be, they love being used by God. Yeah, but they don't love being with them. Mmm, god calls you to be with them first. Yeah, I prepare a seat for you in the presence of your enemies. You don't deserve the crumbs that fall off the table. Yeah, but yet he allows us to sit down at his table that he prepared, and that was man. You just started preaching. Go, man, you know what?
Speaker 1:God knows who to use and who to bless, because God does not see the appearance. He looks at the heart man.
Speaker 2:Answer answer.
Speaker 1:Sorry for this interruption. God did not see the Appearance. He does not see what man sees. He sees the heart man and David. Before he killed Goliath, he had killed the lion and a bear. Before David was anointed keen, he had been taking care of God's sheep, his father's sheep, and something that John taught me was when he got anointed keen, he still went back and do hits the will of his father. He didn't say brothers, I'm the new sheriff in town, right, I'm the king, I'm the man of this house. Bow down and respect me.
Speaker 1:And sometimes God knows he can't put you on a pulpit because the moment you grab the microphone, you're gonna act like you have it all and look at me and look how God uses me. Come on, once you grab the microphone, your life is now under a microscope. Yep, physically and spiritually, can you take the heat? Mm-hmm. God knows how much you can bear. He's not gonna put Three, forty fives on each side. No, knowing that, you could barely bench at 125. What will happen? That's me. You know what happened. You know you're gonna hurt yourself. You could even kill yourself spiritually, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Sometimes people see the pulpit like if it's, if it's lightweight, like if it's if it's not a heavy burden, right? Oh, the preachers, the pastors? They have a burden for the house, so God puts that weight on them because he knows that they are worthy of it and they can handle it. The weight never gets lighter, amen. You only get stronger, amen. So maybe God hasn't put that weight on you because you're still too weak spiritually and you need to get stronger. And that only happens in private. If you seek the Lord in private, you're salt. You in the public, come on, and he who humbles himself the Lord with exalt Amen, and those who exalt themselves.
Speaker 2:God will humble.
Speaker 1:It's like knowing your role in the kingdom, knowing your will, accepting your will bro, that I like how you say that, because I, when I was praying to God about what church to go to, because I was seeking to have a pastor, I was seeking to be rooted. Yeah, I had a parade, I had visited a couple churches and I remember, you know, I was saying to myself and and Reflecting, and and there was a moment where I was like you know what, I'd rather be a Small fish and a big pond. Then a big fish, come on in a smaller pond. I want to be part of something. Big, god, even though I have to decrease so that you can increase.
Speaker 1:I remember, and I was also praying to God for confirmation and when he told me and I don't say God told me a lot, because I don't like to use that in vain, I feel like people overly use it and I'm very careful about it but I feel like God told me do you want a platform or do you want my presence? Come on. So when that was said to me, I knew exactly what church and what pastor was gonna be over my life I'm on and I knew that there was gonna be sacrifices with it. It wasn't, no, it wasn't gonna be no longer easy to doing what the heck he wants to do, preaching whenever. How many times you know? I'm saying I was now being molded and learning to submit to the call of God over my life.
Speaker 2:If the world was blind, if no one can physically see you with their physical eyes, what would your calling look like? I had someone asked me that. Well, like if everyone around you was blind, who are you in ministry? Wow, because everyone loves just. They just want the platform. Why? Because it they see and they want that. You don't know what comes with that. That's not your will. Yeah, what if your will is to simply be the best door holder at church?
Speaker 1:imagine that, and it's nothing to to be little, because I've heard testimonies of people that worked up parking lots and and God used them to evangelize to somebody and that person ended ends up becoming one of the biggest evangelists and pastors.
Speaker 1:You know, there's a Samson. His mother was praying she couldn't bear children and the angel of the Lord told her she was gonna bear children, but gave her requirements. Right, she's given a promise with a purpose, but that purpose and that plan and that and that promise had requirements. You know, she was given a promise that she was gonna bear children with the purpose of Beginning to liberate the people of God from the Philistines Come on, and the requirements were that she couldn't, you know, drink alcohol while she was pregnant and For his requirements, he was a Nazareth, so he couldn't cut his hair. He was set apart from God. And let me just tell somebody your purpose and your calling comes with the requirement you have to honor God, you have to be holy, for I am holy, but your calling Comes with a purpose and your purpose is not for you as for them.
Speaker 2:That's so good.
Speaker 1:God didn't give Samson supernatural strength so that he can boast and flex on Instagram. He gave him supernatural strength so that he can begin Liberating the people of Israel from the hands of the Philistines. It wasn't for his glory, it wasn't for him to boast, it was for them, not him. Man, it's for us, not me. You feel me. That's so good. So once you understand that your calling is not about you, and how great you can preach and how amazing this podcast is, and you know this, when you understand, like man Dom this, make this podcast happen. I feel like it's the moment, it's time because someone is to hear this man. Someone needs to be blessed by this, someone easy.
Speaker 1:I disciple P. I disciple people like Victor Because I've been discipled right. I mentor others because I've been mentored right. I give because I've been blessed, and, and, and I, and I hope with all my heart that you know this. This, this podcast, brings you closer to Jesus. Yes, that the whole reason we shared our testimony and our story and all of the things that we shared today Was for the sole purpose of you Listening to this and God making you free. Amen.
Speaker 1:I, I, if you're listening and you're hearing this on Spotify, apple Podcasts or whatever on YouTube, let me tell you there where you're at. God can make you free. I believe that there's deliverance that can happen through the screen. Yes, I believe that they're right, right there where you're at. If you just humble your heart, if you just humble your spirit and say God, I can't deal with this any longer. God, I need you to deliver me from this anxiety. God, I need you to deliver me from this depression, from this heartache. I don't want to walk around with this burden any longer. God, I believe that God can heal you and restore you, and God can do a new thing, because my God is a God that Restores the broken hearted man, that liberates the, the, the ones that that are oppressed, for the spirit of the Lord is upon me and he has anointed me. It says in Isaiah 61, and it's the anointing of God that breaks the yoke.
Speaker 2:Last question I want to ask you how do you believe what is the right way for people who went through pain, for people who have valid pain, real, true pain, whether that's physically, spiritually, emotionally how does someone go through pain and how do they handle it according?
Speaker 1:Accordingly, with their faith and Matthew 18, verses 21 to 35. It talks about the unmerciful servant and I kind of paraphrase a little bit the unmerciful servant, there was a keen that when the settled debts with his sir, with the servants, and this In the nlt version, the new living translation, I like it makes it very modern. There's other versions that say Talon's and the Nars and all this. But he says that there was this servant that old millions and and he was gonna have him thrown in jail. And what happened is this servant got on his knees and pleaded and asked for mercy, right, for grace, and it touched the king's heart and he gave him mercy and grace and and cleared him of his debt. But what is amazing is that this servant then later on goes up by his day but finds somebody that owes him not millions but owes him thousands. And I would say, oh cool, he's gonna forgive him, no problem, he's been forgiven. But instead this serving that says he grabs him and starts choking him and says, and where's my money? Right, yeah, pay me what you owe me. So then this person ends up doing the same thing gets on his knees, begs him, pleads with him, forgive me on my debt. But instead of him being merciful because bless are those who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Instead of him being merciful, he has him thrown in jail Until he pays back.
Speaker 1:Now the king finds this out and calls him up and he says Worms, you shouldn't have. You have been merciful, just how I was merciful with you. And he said. He casted him to the prison and be tortured by the jailers until he paid back all that he owed. This is the same way our father in heaven would do with us if we don't forgive from our heart, says the last verse of that passage. Man, god cannot forgive us If we can't forgive them. So therefore, you carry this burden. I know it wasn't easy what they did to you, and, and forgiveness doesn't mean that they won. Forgiving doesn't mean that you're weak. Forgiving doesn't mean that they were right with what they did to you. Forgiveness is giving it on to the Lord and allowing him to come into your heart and perform a surgery, a supernatural surgery, surgery that not any Scientist, no therapist, no doctor can perform, only through the power of the Holy Spirit. You do the natural and God would do the supernatural. You do the physical and God would do the supernatural, those the thing that the spiritual amen, and so for you to heal from any wound. You got to understand first that you are also a sinner and that you also need God forgiveness, amen, and Then you'll understand that it's only right for you to forgive, because you can't carry that weight over your shoulders. You need God to liberate you, to make peace with you, and I think we've talked about this. We're about the whole podcast.
Speaker 1:If you listen to, if you listen to this whole podcast from beginning to end, you'll hear the stories of how God made me free from, from anxiety, depression and all that. How God made me free from a sexual you know assault, a sexual abuse. God made me free from from having hatred towards my father man. That's the only way that God can use you. If you can't forget, we see sometimes we're great at being spiritual Christians that were really bad at being people that forgive you.
Speaker 1:We get speaking tongues and prophesy and preach a great message, but if we don't have love, it means nothing. First Corinthians, chapter 13, verses one to eight, talks about what love is, but the first three scriptures tells us that when we do things that our love is just a resounding symbol, it's not pleasing unto the Lord and I want to be a sacrifice. I want to be a perfume of fragrance that's pleasing unto the Lord, that when he sees me doing whatever I do, that it's pleasing unto him. Not that I'm perfect, but I serve a perfect God and I understand that. I need forgiveness and I need to forgive those who have hurt me. Sets you free.
Speaker 2:Sets you free, and I feel that there's so many. I feel that there's a lot of people that have gone through something when they were younger and they still haven't forgiven that person, because when you sweep it underneath the rug, they do not see it and all that does is delay the mission that God Almighty has on your life. Forgiveness is so powerful man.
Speaker 1:See, look, the closer you get to light, the more you start seeing the blemishes, the stains. God exposes what is unclean, what shouldn't be there. We're wearing black. If I dim all the lights in here, I wouldn't even see any imperfections in your pants or anything like that. But the moment we turn on the lights and I start walking towards light, I'll be able to see the scars, the pain, and sometimes people don't want to walk towards Christ because it feels uncomfortable.
Speaker 1:Because then God starts exposing things in your life. And he doesn't expose things in your life to embarrass you, to bring shame. He exposes them because he brings awareness of what needs to be healed, of what needs to be restored, of what needs to be redeemed. And let me tell you that guilt is from the devil, but conviction is from the Holy Spirit. Guilt will bring you further, but conviction will bring you closer, and I pray that today God convicts you of any unforgiveness that you have in your heart through the power of the Holy Spirit. That brings you conviction, because he wants you near. And even though it's uncomfortable, look, god. Look how wounded I am. Look at these scars. Look how bad I cut myself. Look how much I've been drinking. Look how much I've been smoking. I spent half my check, or 80% of my check, on all these dispensaries because I'm trying to numb the pain. But, lord, here I am.
Speaker 2:And those who are watching let this be a testament to that those who are physically hurting. If God can save me someone who is nasty, someone who genuinely hated God because I thought he was punishing me if he can save me, if he can love me, I promise you he will do the same for you. Why? Because you were made in His image, amen. And nothing can ever take that away. Nothing can ever take. How much God loves you. That's right. Nothing, the spirit of victimization. We rebuke that.
Speaker 1:You said something earlier. You said some people like to feel depressed, and that's true, because that was me. They like to feel sorry for themselves. They like others to feel sorry for them. They love the attention that it comes with.
Speaker 1:And one day, let me tell you that there was a moment last year when I said I can't live depressed and feeling sorry for me losing my mom the rest of my life. I'm always going to remember her. I'm never going to forget her. I'm just going to learn to live without her and I know I'll see her in heaven one day. But in the meantime, there's a lot to do and I can't walk around feeling sorry for myself. When I live and I serve a mighty, great God, the King of all kings, the host of hosts, the Lord of lords, I can't walk around with my head down when I serve a God that's on a mighty throne. Above all, come on Elohim.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to Elohim Podcasts, a podcast about real life issues from a biblical perspective. It was an honor and a pleasure, dom, to have shared this platform with you. Thank you for sharing your story, for being vulnerable and for being transparent. I ask the Lord to bless your life, to take you to great and mighty places, that he protect you from any dart of the enemy. We have to have the shield of faith. No weapon from the against shall prosper, but we must have and hold the shield of faith. And I bless your life, man. You've been a blessing to me. You've been a blessing to a lot of young adults. You've been a blessing to young and up and coming ministers. You know who they are and let me tell you that when that's happening, you're going to get attacked, you're going to get tempted, but I ask you that you never forget how far you've come and you may not be where you want to be, but you're far from where you used to be. Praise God.
Speaker 2:God bless your life, man. God bless you, brother. Thank you for having me, man.
Speaker 1:God bless you. Stay tuned for the next episode.